Holly's Notes and Condition

Plea for Help from BC Support Group Member

On Monday, Jan 21st - I got an 'emergency plea' from Alice, Dr Curcio's nurse to please call one of the newly diagnosed members of the BC group, Sherry H, as she had asked to speak to me before her first chemo treatment on Jan 22nd. I had called both Sherry's home and her cell phone and left messages for her. I left my cell phone number and told her to call me. I told her all the other Ladies in the group had been through chemo and lived to tell the tale. Remember, I mentioned that I decided not to attend the BC Support Group Meeting last Thursday, well Sherry was one of the Ladies whose problems I didn't feel prepared to take on and here she was - hysterical, afraid and alone and asking for me to call her. I had asked Alice, if any of the other BC Ladies had called her, to which Alice replied, 'No, Holly, she only wants to talk to you.' Damn It!

I waited to hear from Sherry - nothing. Dr Curcio had tried to install a portacatheter (3) times on her and it didn't take. That's why Sherry had wanted to talk to me, because at her first BC meeting, the night she was diagnosed, I had let her feel my portacatheter and told her that she could do this. Then when her port didn't work, they told her that I had gotten through 7 months of chemo without a port. She views the chemo room as a death room and got herself so worked up that she landed in the hospital with what they initially thought was a heart attack on Sunday - anxiety and fear and hysteria. When I didn't hear back from Sherry, I called Alice to let her know that I had at least made the calls and left what I hoped would be an encouraging message for Sherry. Alice said that she too, had left messages for Sherry and now we just have to wait for her to reach out. I apologized to Alice for not jumping at the opportunity to help a fellow BC support group member - but, Sherry had gotten so worked up that first night at the meeting, and her hysteria was permeating the room, that I honestly had to resist going over and slapping her across the face and say, 'Snap out of it! None of us wants to die!' - I didn't of course, but I was thinking it. I stuck with her, because she was trying, however unsuccessfully, to deal with a BC Dx - alone, and she was absolutely terrified of dying. But I told Alice, I have to draw the line for my own health and well being - I will talk with her, as long as she doesn't dissolve into mass hysteria, of 'I'm Gonna Die', but I will not go sit in the chemo room with her - I can't do that just yet - I need to be away from 'all that' for awhile. Alice understood and thanked me for being honest with her. I'm not gonna do it. End of discussion.

posted by Holly @ 3:33 PM