Holly's Notes and Condition

Sometimes Its Just Best NOT to Read the Mail

Its 3:30 pm and a light sprinkling rain has started - finally. Its good if it comes down slowly - it gives the ground a chance to absorb it. The wind isn't too crazy yet - we've had a lot of unseasonably gusty, windy days, as of late - so hopefully, it will just rain softly and for awhile.

About the mail, let me start with last Wednesday, Jan 3rd - the day of my 2nd Dose of chemo - I'm trying to pretend that its 'business as usual' for me - at least emotionally, so I open the mail: the Health Ins coverage and non-coverage statements of my 2nd dose of chemo from Round 1 in Nov 2006, then there was the Tax Prep packet for our 2006 taxes from our accountant, and then there was.... you guessed it... update information on the Death Benefit Transfer Clause on Dave's and My Life Insurance Policies - not a good mail day - I couldn't even begin to pretend that it is 'business as usual' for me, emotionally or physically - I just went into the bathroom and cried, then I regrouped and filed these important papers and noted the action that has to happen with each, with the exception of the death benefit transfer - that I'll deal with on another day - Done.

So, today, Thursday Jan 11th - Day 1 after my 3rd dose of chemo - this is what the mail brings:
the Health Insurance coverage and non-coverage statements on my 3rd dose of chemo from Round 1 , also in Nov 2006, then there was an offer for low cost funeral and cremation services - that went into the shredder as soon as I saw the title and just when I thought I couldn't possibly feel any less sexy - my Winter Victoria Secret lingerie catalog arrived and I realized that no, actually I could feel really NOT sexy - I threw it away before Dave saw it - I can't take the approving way he looks at the cute models right now - it depresses me and frankly, I don't need anything else to put me in a funk, thank you very much, especially a catalog from a company that wants my business. This was an improvement over last week - at least I didn't start crying this time.

Sometimes its just best to NOT open the mail, especially when I've just had another dose of chemo, of which I have 9 more doses left to tackle a week at a time - I think I'll let the mail age a couple of days from now on, see if that helps my morale a bit.

posted by Holly @ 3:29 PM